By Gregory Moore
Motherhood and fatherhood should be a glorious thing for most people and we are all quite aware that there will be those relationships where arguments will be loud and sometimes the crux of the argument will be over child rearing.
I think we can also say that we know that domestic violence in any relationship can become present no matter what your economic or social make up.
Yet when it is domestic violence amongst teenagers, we should all be troubled because that shouldn’t be a ‘grown up’ issue that they face in their lives. Couple that with the prospect of being a young parent and these young people are facing daunting odds for success.
And what seems to be the common factor among the rise in teen domestic violence is the fact that so many of these couples are young parents.
Sometimes those grown up arguments turn into a child facing the grown up prospect of facing a murder charge because of their lack of skills in solving an argument.
Thus is the case of a San Antonio mother and high school senior, Tiffany James.
James, who is a senior at Sam Houston High School, is accused of stabbing her boyfriend, Antwan Wolford, to death inside of her mom’s apartment. (read story here).
This is a tragedy that will be played out quite a few more times in cities and towns in this country before the year is over with and it will continue for as long as there is a rise in teenage pregnancies.
James may be a great person and a fantastic mother but like many teens, she is lacking the maturity to handle heated discussions. You can say that I am wrong in my assessment but when was the last time you picked up a knife to make your point to the person you are arguing with?
This isn’t a normal display of problem solving unless you have other issues in your psyche. It could even be a rash decision at the moment but the fact that you would automatically reach for a sharp object to win an argument should be a warning sign.
But James isn’t alone in how to deal with heated arguments.
How can any of us forget how Chris Brown reacted to then girlfriend Rihanna in an expensive ride because she picked up his phone? Forget how it all happened; just look at the end result: he beat her.
For many teens, violence is the solution they see in their world and that could be fueled from any medium.
It could be fueled from within a household where they have seen those same actions at a young age.
It could be the catalyst from too much ‘reality’ shows or movies.
Whatever the medium, the end result is usually pretty tragic; someone is going to get hurt.
In James’ case, it is someone who she truly loved.
I’m not looking to condone the young mother because what she did was most likely an accident and it is something she has to live with for the rest of her life.
Her young life has been altered immensely by this tragedy.
But what are the ‘grown ups’ doing to make sure this doesn’t happen again in this city?
Where are those social experts who talk about how bad teen pregnancy is but haven’t done anything to really help stave off the rising numbers?
While James is going to need counseling before and after her trial, other teens that are in serious relationships need counseling too.
At a time in their lives where they should be deciding what college to go to or what color their prom dress should be, so many are looking at having an adult relationship so that they can act like adults.
The problem with that logic is that even adults don’t know how to act like adults many times; thus providing a false bravado of what the standard bearer looks like.
In any case society needs to seriously start looking at how curtail a pregnancy rate that continues to balloon and a domestic violence aspect that will rise accordingly.
Society needs to help young ladies like Tiffany James realize that importance of having problem solving skills that go beyond the classroom but for that to happen that means that society understands the problem at hand.
By the looks of the numbers that are out there, we are as clueless on this demographic as we are on solving cancer.
All that means is we must do better for our sakes and our children’s’ sakes.