By Gregory Moore
For the past several weeks I’ve been kind of rocking my old school rap thing in the POV and on the iPhone.
Little did I know that one of my favorite rappers had a song that seemed to be theme song for guys like Jesse James, Tiger Woods, Big Ben and now the latest victim of wayward moralism, Tiki Barber.
The song I’m referring to is called “Sprung on the Cat” by Sir Mixalot and if you don’t know the lyrics, let me give u a little taste.
Meow, meow, the cat will get ya
If you let it get wit’ ya
Some brothers wanna spend alotta money
Just to get a little honey
But the honey gets runny when the money’s funny
Now you’re thinking, “what the hell are you talking about, Greg?”
Let me spell it for you; are you down with OPP?
If you’re not, that means you respect the relationship you’re in but for dawgs like Barber and other athletes, the “cat” is exactly what they want.
For them, the ‘cat’ is conquest and forbidden fruit.
It’ll also have your nose wide open and your wallet emptying out faster than Paris Hilton doing shopping on Rodeo Drive.
Now I really don’t have a problem with the single guys going out and getting them some action. I mean isn’t that what you do when you’re single? Go prowling for tail?
But married guys?
I’m sorry I just don’t understand the whole principle behind needing to cheat on the wife.
And as much of a story as the Tiger Woods scandal is, nobody, and I do mean NOBODY, is talking about what Barber has allegedly done.
How do I know this for a fact?
It’s not the leading story on Sports Center that why.
You see when you’re the world’s best golfer and probably the richest athlete on the planet, you’re gonna get A list billing on a news cycle. But a guy like Barber isn’t an A list guy.
Hell he’s barely a D list sideline reporter.
Yet this story is coming out of New York via the Post and rarely does the NY tabloid get things so jacked up that its unbelievable.
Barber’s nose got opened wide by a blond, blue eyed intern at NBC.
His nose is SO wide open that he’s leaving his pregnant wife of eleven years.
Not really a shocker yet to you?
Okay how about the fact that he is doing the exact same thing that he accused his own father of doing back in an 2004 interview.
Let’s all say it together now…..”Sprung on the cat”.
Being sprung means one thing; you’re dumb.
Why in the hell would a man who is fast approaching forty something want to hook up with a 23 year old intern anyway?
If I knew the answer then I guess I wouldn’t be writing this piece huh.
Or I would have been able to save Woods from himself.
Or teach James to ‘just say no’.
Or maybe Big Ben would already be a blue collar husband to a suburban Pittsburgh girl.
But that’s not reality and the only ones living that dream life are guys like the ones I mentioned.
Personally I think any woman who approaches a married man is looking to be a ‘home wrecker” but then again, that’s just me.
So I’ve always prided myself in telling my girlfriend how I won’t stray; even in our dating stage.
As a matter of fact I’ve been really good at the monogamous thing during my single days.
Which kind of truly puzzles me; a poor kid from the sticks as one of my boys likes to tell peeps.
And so it really does puzzle me to see grown men who are married go out and creep on their spouses like they do.
Heck I get upset when a guy is creeping on his girlfriend just because there really isn’t a commitment there.
Or so many believe anyways.
That just tells me that those ‘dawgs’ are sprung on Ms. Kitty and I’m not talking about ole gurl from Gunsmoke either.
Maybe these guys should heed Mix’s warning at the end of his song:
Don’t pet the cat, if you just met the cat
If you’re sprung on the cat
You might as well eat the cat
But then again, maybe my prudish ways aren’t what so many guys of the stature of Barber or another athlete thinks makes them a true man.
Maybe the theme song for these guys shouldn’t be “Sprung on the Cat” but Whodini’s “Cause I’m a Hoe”.
I’m just saying……